Jokes and Funny Stuff.....

[01dragonslayer]

St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys.

"Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven. "But you realize, I hope, that we've got all the good players and the best coaches."

"I know, and that's all right," Satan answered unperturbed. "We've got all the umpires."

 

[01dragonslayer]

• "What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?" "Quack, Quack!"

 

[01dragonslayer]

• "Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey?" "He sensed fowl play."

 

[01dragonslayer]

• "What key has legs and can't open a door?" "A turkey."

 

[01dragonslayer]

• "Why did they let the turkey join the band?" "Because he had his own drumsticks."

 

[01dragonslayer]

• "What happened to the turkey that got in a fight?" "He got the stuffing knocked out of him!"

 

[01dragonslayer]

• "You know you overdid it at Thanksgiving when you thought the serving size for turkey was one."

 

[01dragonslayer]

• "Why shouldn't you sit next to a turkey at dinner?" "Because he will gobble it up."

 

[01dragonslayer]

• "If you call a big turkey a gobbler, what do you call a small one?" "A goblet."

 

[01dragonslayer]

• "What do you call a running turkey?" "Fast food."

 

[01dragonslayer]

• "What's blue and covered in feathers?" "A turkey holding its breath."

 

[01dragonslayer]

• "Why did the turkey cross the road?" "He wanted people to think he was a chicken."

 

[01dragonslayer]

• "Why was the turkey put in jail?" "The police suspected fowl play."

 

[01dragonslayer]

• "How come the turkey didn't eat dinner?" "He was already stuffed."

 

[01dragonslayer]

• What did the turkey say to the computer?" "Google, google."

 

[01dragonslayer]

• "What do you get if you cross a turkey with a ghost?" "A poultry-geist."

 

[01dragonslayer]

• "What kind of weather does a turkey like?" "Fowl weather."

 

[01dragonslayer]

• "What did the leftover turkey say?" "Make me a sandwich!"

 

[01dragonslayer]

• "What side dish do you bring for Thanksgiving dinner when you accidentally sat on the sweet potatoes?" "Squash casserole."

 

[01dragonslayer]

• "What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner?" "The casse-role."